I was amused by this:
Hope everyone had a great holiday!
I was amused by this:
Hope everyone had a great holiday!
Be afraid. You’re going to see who I am and you are going to hear what I sound like.
Sorry, I didn’t get a post up yesterday. I have issues. That yay, you get to hear about!
I’m working on keeping at least a post a day up here. But I really do have issues…mainly of the psychological kind. We all do. We all hit those moments.
I am not medicated, and I probably should consider going back to medication, but I have severe (almost crippling) social anxiety, bi-polar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. Doing this blog is my way of reaching out of my bubble that I’ve created (the room that I took you on a tour of earlier this week). Behind the scenes of my geekery is one very scared girl.
I’ve pretty much come to terms with the fact that while my dreams of being a rockstar or an actress are probably gone with age (25 is a hard age to break out in these days) and lack of money (an agent in my area, bare bones, worst agent you can find is a minimum of a $400 down payment, which I never have lying around) and have pretty much succumbed to the fact that I am probably doing what I do best…being behind a computer…for the rest of my life is fine, I’ve never faced this huge a failure in life before.
This failure I’m talking of is being fired. I know, its silly. But I’ve never honestly been trained in anything my whole career life. I’ve always trained myself and I’ve never failed. Never had any issues.
But I struggled and I failed in this job, and facing that is really, really difficult. I know people who constantly get fired from jobs or can’t hold a job down for longer than 2 months and I really don’t know how people do that I would go crazy. I am, currently, going very crazy. Panic attacks left and right.
So I write these blog posts when I have something interesting to say, or something funny, or witty, or whatever.
My goal is still at least a post a day. I won’t post any self depreciating things and stuff like that. I just felt like I owe an explanation for right now, and why I’m probably a lot more cynical and a lot less funny. I have a Tree Decorating party tonight, a Tree Decorating party tomorrow afternoon and a Big Lebowski party tomorrow night. Before you ask, yes this does play into my anxiety, but for the most part it is family or people I consider family, so I’m somewhat okay. I will probably still need to medicate in some form (most likely alcohol).
But within those I should find a voice and a better post. One that doesn’t suck like this one. I should probably write about The Walking Dead and my love of it too.
So, really in all honesty there is only a couple of places left to see. But you need to know one thing.
The dogs rule in our house.
This is Fila. He is 14 years old. He’s going blind and deaf. I can’t take a picture of him if he’s not asleep. See that purple under him? We have fleece blankets over all of our couch instead of couch cushions, because between him and Gizmo (pictured next) we barely have any cushions. Also, half the time we can’t sit on the couch because one of them are there and will not allow us to sit with them. They don’t bite or anything…but they plan out little revenges. Like throwing up in front of people we’ve had over for the first time. Or humping each other in the same situation.
This is Gizmo. The fact that he is in fact he is a giant dog does not show well in this picture. He is a German Shepherd/Alaskan Malmute mix. Fila is a Chow/Lab mix. Gizmo also thinks he is a lap dog, and tries to sit on us on a pretty regular basis. I think he weighs about 135 pounds, and its not a pleasant weight for your lap. Gizmo is afraid of everything. He will not go through a door that is even a little closed (the door has to be pressed against the wall). He will not jump down from a bed (and sometimes couch) if there is nothing underneath (like a blanket or one of the dog beds that are constantly ignored). He will not go up the top stair without being coaxed. He’ll climb up to it, but he will not finish going up the step until we tell him “Come on Gizmo!” I have crazy dogs.
They also take over the tiny bathroom we have. Currently we have 4 people living here. That number changes often, just because of siblings and all of us moving in and out. But we only have one full bathroom, so we all share it. This includes the dogs.
Trying to have bathroom privacy in this house is kind of a joke. While I’m in the shower, my mom is usually blow drying her hair and my brother is pounding on the door. Its pretty normal to us. But I do have a few issues with the bathroom.
I’m claustrophobic. I hate showering for this reason. Also for the reason that our shower curtain SUCKS, and has a life of its own and tries to eat me while I’m showering. We also get spiders and ants THAT FALL OUT OF THE WALL. Its super creepy. One time I counted no less than 40 ants fall out of the wall in a 5 minute period. I said fuck it and skipped the shower that day. Got ant traps and cowered. There is also one little area that refuses to not be slippery. I wash down the shower before I get into it, I’ve worn those stupid shower slippers…I NEVER NOT SLIP ON THAT SPOT. I don’t know what it is! Its just meant to always be slippery.
I have one little area of entertainment. Where the Wii is hooked up and my Netflix is cued. That, in fact, is this area:
This is actually the first thing you see when you walk in. Wii, Netflix and a big TV…all it requires is for me to leave my room.
This is the place where food takes place. I can usually be seen standing in there stuffing my face, or standing in there baking something to later stuff my face with.
Yes, we keep our pills in the kitchen. And we are a family of Chicago Bears fans. Also, that toaster there? Just for show really. It is completely bi-polar. I’ll put it where it says it will burn, and then it barely toasts it. Then I’ll put it down to toast again and it is completely burned to crap. I can’t win!
So that is the tour of my oh so exciting household. Don’t you feel just a little bit closer now?
Because I know you are just absolutely DYING to know what is next on the tour…
I’m performing again! I will be performing at The Comedy Shrine in Naperville IL on December 27th. It is a Marathon Open Mic night, so it will be going from 8pm to 12am. I don’t know what time I will be on, but I am DEFINEITLY going to be there and doing some stand up comedy. My first try is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If7U2Pd0nbs
Ok. I’ll go back and finish writing the awesomeness that is my virtual tour now 🙂
Two posts in two days? WTF? I know right. I’m well on my way to becoming a SUPER BLOGGER!
Or. You know. Being unemployed and applying at jobs all day makes the mind go a little crazy, and I needed a break that was not in the form of a certain Epic videogame that mocks me for my lack of coordination as of late.
Here is a tour of a good percent of my life, which is spent in my house. We’ll start with my tiny room, with my ridiculous bed. You can click on the pictures to see them bigger. I doubt they are at full-res though.
This is the room where all of my magical words come from. Don’t be fooled by the TV…the only thing it plays is DVDs, shown on the rack next to it. You can kind of tell the ridiculousness of my bed by its height here…the TV is placed on top of a table, with a giant suitcase on top of it. I paint, as you can tell by the easel. That painting was just finished the day I lost my job…and was sitting for about a year before that. I paint when I get really stressed out that I can barely see straight…probably why I won’t sell any of them. My dresser mainly just stores my clothes..I tend to forget I have clothes once they go in there. You’re getting a lucky view of my room…I stayed up until 1am cleaning last night out of boredom. Artists that you can kind of see there are Lucy Knisley, David Willis, Randal Milholland, Danielle Corsetto and Erika Moen.
My bed does not really fit in my room. At all. To do anything in there you almost always will be on the bed. This does cause awkward moments…there are just some people in the world you don’t want to share a bed with, even if you are just sitting there, you’re on a bed. So you automatically think something is going to happen. And then I have to scream and hide under giant bed…and I can’t help it that I have a huge (and comfy) bed!
Also, the whiteboard is something to make me feel like an adult. But in actuality, I haven’t written on it in months. My sister and boyfriend wrote on it last…back in August.
I have a curtain up. Not that you can tell. Its white and useless.
I hate the mirrored wall. Again, it makes for awkward moments…because people think that I like to watch when bedroom things happen. First off, that would require bedroom things to happen. Secondly, it was here when we moved here. Thirdly, spiders live behind it and it makes me go ehhhhhhhhh. I hate spiders.
I have yoga pictures up…to motivate me to do yoga…and I never do. Mainly lack of room…you can’t do yoga on a bed. Pair that with my laziness, yeah it ain’t happening. Next to the yoga pictures on that little wall that sticks out so I can have a closet is a whiteboard/corkboard stuck with weightloss tips and where I monitor my weight. Obviously not pictured.
On my nightstand you see my laptop, which is on top of books because otherwise it overheats. I am, what we call around here, ghetto…because I can’t afford a new laptop and I would rather have it sit on top of books then to lose my laptop to a burning firey death (but that will probably be how I die). The thing is always on…because I constantly have to have noise. Even when sleeping. My brain overruns itself otherwise and I go crazy…crazier…and I need to be able to focus on something. Whether its bad music or The Big Bang Theory, something ALWAYS is playing so that I don’t have to overthink and hurt myself. But that side of crazy will be saved for another blog.
Pooh Bear is actually Secret Agent Pooh…it is a thing, shut up…and I’ve had him for a couple of months…he basically just keeps falling in the crack between the bed and the wall all the time. Pillows make the bed feel a little bit fuller, so I’m not in the giant thing by myself.
Hookah is not for pot. Clearing that up right now.
I have a ton and a half more books than that. But I’m lazy and haven’t gotten them from the various places where they are. Lots of little statues and knick knacks. Batman Costume. Epic Mickey figurine.
So that is part one of my life. Mainly because I think this is the longest post I’ve made, and I gotta figure out how to write the next part of it. Enjoy!
So true story, outside of mass amounts of sending my resume places and trying to find a damn job..
I’m playing Epic Mickey.
So. Much. Mickey!
But I’m pretty positive the game was made to laugh at me. Just constantly laugh at my face. I suck at double jump. I suck at aiming. I suck at gaming in general.
I’m actually pretty amazed at how far I’ve come…from what I’ve read I’m a little more than halfway through. I really enjoy Oswalds character and the pretty creepy Mickeyjunk Mountain. I’m really, really enjoying this game, despite the fact that I have the hand-eye coordination of a 2 year old.
I know I said I would post more with the lack of job…but I don’t really know what to write. I’m just kinda weird goofy.
So I’ll try to find some fun things to post. I always enjoy ideas as well.
First off, the announcement: I will be writing weekly-ish for Nerds of the Round Table. Yay! I have branched out and reach other people! I’ve been working on a writeup for an silly intro for myself, which of course I will let you all know when I post.
…There is an owl outside my window, and its kinda freaking me out. 1:30 in the morning is not a good time for big yellow eyes making noises at me to be staring at me.
So originally this post was going to be a real intro about me, since I realized that you as the reader don’t really know me…outside of the fact I am a girl who is a nerd and likes cupcakes and recently watched Battlestar Galactica.
But today I got fired from my job.
I have never…EVER…been fired before.
It shocked me. I didn’t react when he told me…I grabbed all of my stuff, shoved it in a bag, walked out. Ran into one of the guys on my way out, gave him a hug…and drove home sobbing.
Cried for like 4 hours. Seriously…I never ever cry that much.
First person I called was my previous boss, which of course they are on a hiring freeze. Texted a lot, called a lot. Filed unemployment.
Tomorrow I’m going to restaurants and trying to find waitressing jobs. Its not what I want to do but you know what…until I get a steady job it will work fine.
BUT…if you’re in the Chicagoland area…I NEED A JOB. I have been a personal assistant (outside of this job that I just got fired from) for the past 9 years. I was only at this job for 2 months…seriously its not even going on my resume. I’m extremely fantastic with computers and I’m really…a fantastic assistant. Ask any of my previous employers.
What does this mean for you, the reader? Probably a lot more posts. Also, I have a shit ton to write about Epic Mickey, as I have been playing almost non-stop since Tuesday, when it came out.
For now, goodnight. Tomorrow is another day. Life goes on, with or without finances.